snow!

so not only did i not take a camera to the office party i catered on friday, but i didn't even remember to take business cards. what a pro! we had about 6 or 7 inches of snow here the day before, and i was absolutely freaking out...should i open this cryovac-d beef tenderloin? are they going to cancel? will it get worse? can i even get downtown? luckily, the snow tapered off late thursday evening and it was a dry, powdery snow, so ryan's lesbaru was able to make the trip without any trouble. the event went off really really well. i wish i had photos, but alas. 

saturday morning dawned looking like snow, and the story was that we should gear up for a lot. we went to the grocery and spent approximately a mortgage payment on food, wood & wine. i have to confess that standing at the checkout counter - despite just having cooked for 2 days - and seeing all the food and potential food in the cart - i got a little misty. something about snow must make me want to nest. that afternoon i made crab benedicts, then broke down a chicken, made stock, started some bread dough, and made shepherd's pie, watching the snow all the while. yesterday was even more culinarily intense. i made chicken salad with the breasts i'd pulled the day before (poaching them in the stock i'd made), made cafe lago tomato sauce (second best in the world), made meatballs, made hummus, and finished the bread. this was pretty much the culmination of all my efforts:
homemade sauce, homemade meatballs, homemade bread. if only we had room for that buffalo.

then we went sledding! rob went snowboarding, but i went next door and borrowed our 6-year-old neighbor Nathaniel's flying saucer and went skidding down the lander hill. very fun. here are a couple shots from the action:


what the hell are these??



please can i go sledding?



all suited up, boyeeeee...



i'm 5!!

it finally stopped snowing late last night, and we must have around a foot of total accumulation. we should probably borrow a shovel. word is we could see more wednesday, or it might be warm enough then to just get rain. it's been crazy. i think the city is a little baffled and everyone i know is more than a little stir-crazy. i'm really grateful we had that second snow, because i really couldn't enjoy the first one at all. i should get the next batch of bread dough going...i wish i'd been smart enough to hold a scrap piece of dough from the last batch...need to cultivate a starter...

"and a paaartriiidge cooked in curry..."

my note from last night, when i wrote that gem down (which i *wish* i could claim as my own) said, "fucking genius. this is why you marry." yes, the quote is rob's, and it refers to the lovely radikha, who denies the influence of her culture at every step, but then proceeds to cook *every* dish with indian components. hold on - this calls for talisker...ok. that's better. last night's TC gave us not only martha stewart (in jeans skinny enough padma might have worn them) but also the sultry natasha richardson and the eternally grumpy michelle bernstein (who i always want to call sandra bernhardt).

quickfire was an ok one. i'm glad they've stopped doing things like - "and here to present your swanson broth challenge..." this was a good idea, which, ultimately, irritated me since it could have as easily been rachael ray as ms. martha. it was one pot cooking. most people cooked everything in the one pot, but in batches and stages. ok, you used one pot - 8 times - it might have kept to the letter, but not exactly the spirit of the challenge. given that she liked hosea's paella, which was cooked without batching in one pot, i think he should have won. but milfy ariane (and for the record - no. i would not.) is on a roll...and how much must it have meant to her to win a martha challenge?? tatty-bo was sulky, as usual. oh -  it occurred to me that my one or both of my readers might find the name "tatty-bo" a little insulting. do you prefer "tats mcgee?"  let me know. eugene, the tatted boy with something to prove thickened his stew with cornstarch. martha no likey. he got very very angry, and actually made a totally valid point that grandmothers everywhere rely on cornstarch. ok, well, have fun at the fair, eug! you may have just drawn (more) obvious attention to the fact that you're out of your league.

ok - so the regular challenge was evil...12 days of christmas, each chef randomly picks from the song and has to create 8 lords a leaping or some such absurd fucking nonsense for 250 (alleged) people in 3 hours. alone. not even in august of 2007, at the height of my FS catering frenzy could i have accomplished such a thing - with planning. (and did anyone else notice that there were *maybe* 50 people there??) 

the event was to support AIDS research, and TB made a point of noting the fact that she's a part of the gay community. (thanks tats...GOT IT. btw - lots of lesbians with AIDS? maybe not but i bet you have *loads* of gay male friends...hmm, whatever,  but i guess it's more important - or somehow more *yours* than anyone else's? why does she stick in my craw?) i'm starting to root for the italian. he's funny. i have no interest in being under the mistletoe with him, but thanks for asking, bravo.

i can't recall what everyone made, but eug had "5 golden rings" i turned to rob and said, fuck it, i would have made *damn* sure that some panko-coated oniony goodness adorned my food. does it matter what you serve if each morsel is crowned with 5 baby shallot rings? but wait - they're cooking for 250! and they each had maybe 8 plates at a time on their stations. whatever.

so radhika does something with duck, and hosea does something with pork tenderloin and the fridge their food was in (though, oddly, not the rest of radhika's duck, just the part she was planning to use) was warm when they arrived the day of the event. in the words of the great robert cray i suspect foul play. i can just leanne sauntering back into the kitchen late that night and pulling the door open, or unplugging the fridge... watch what happens, bitches!

and the next morning...from tragedy emerges friendship...the whole crew pitched in. and everyone found time to help radhika and hosea. and yes. ok? are you happy? it got to me. my eyes were shiny. i was touched. even though i *knew* that radhika had *not* broken down 40 ducks the night before (and even if she did - she didn't really...taking the breasts off is hardly breaking the ducks, but perhaps i'm splitting hairs) and even though i *knew* that if these poor bastards were *really* cooking for 250 people, it would have been every man for himself...it did get to me. a little. until TB had to mention that she wanted to help - even though it was a competition. then i wanted to throw my wineglass at the tv.

so at the event everyone's doing their thing and selling their sell and natasha seems to like the finn and the finn definitely likes natasha and i would not be one bit surprised if he had an extra little pot pie with her name on it. (real or fake? tashie's decolletage seemed a little too...taut for a woman of her...cougarishness.) and tom was utterly appalled at the dishes. i wonder if they hadn't put the completely insane challenge to them if the food would have been better. tom was dismissive of ariane (devilled eggs) saying - you will not win this competition making devilled eggs. guess what? she will not win this competition. after the judging (and before the loser was put out to pasture) tom talked to all the chefs and basically told them to stop fucking around and being safe or boring. leah, the snub-nosed, pretty one got a little mouthy and sulky with tom. do what? who do these people think they are? this is tom f-ing colicchio. someone needs a spanking. i'm going to leave it at that.

the winner was hosea, though grudgingly. chase-alike almost won for what seemed to be a completely confusing pile of tastyish whatnot. i'm not sure. but people liked it. or drunk starlets liked chase-alike. who can say? i was totally asleep at that point.

the bottom 3 were tatty-bo (say what?) eug and the unfortunate mannish one with the 9-foot bangs. i think she's from portland. anyway, they set it up that eug was out (and he probably should have been) and clearly, i've already called it - TB will win, so, sorry man hands...you're done. her thing was 8 maids a milking (which makes my "out to pasture" comment really funny, right?) and she did some kind of seared beef with blue cheese on brioche. i think her original cheese was in the damaged fridge too, but she didn't mention it. wouldn't have mattered - she clearly lied in her application video...the girl was kind of a zero on film. she might be a crazy talented cook, but we never saw it. we saw sissy hankshaw, in duller times. cranky michelle bernstein only tasted cheese. ok, but i assume you like cheese. and it *was* 8-maids-a-milking...cheese isn't totally beyond the pale here, and you actively hated eug's coconut milk fish dish - and TB's scallops which were described as "warm," and "slimy." there may have been actual shuddering. the editing on these shows is always kind of irksome. the way you know someone won't be eliminated is because the diary and trailer footage makes it seem like they will. every day is opposite day on bravo. and tatty...what's with the scallops? next week i think she uses them again and the italian is quoted as saying, "this is top chef, not top scallop" that was funny. he's my favorite. he's still ridiculous, but he has heart.

alrighty...it's after 12. i'm doing a dinner for 50 tomorrow...if i can get out of WS. we had 6-8 inches of snow over here. good powdery stuff. i was cooking all day, so the only exposure i had to it was when i laid my beef tenderloin slices on a sheet pan and stuck it into the snow to cool quickly. time and temperature, yo.

this is my bleary-assed self pre-talisker...my hair is insanely curly. i washed it before bed last night and tied it up into a bun. i just took it down now, 24 hours later. a little much...but you can't really see that. all you get is a glimpse of my favorite scarf. stolen from patti. i'm rocking the fuchsia. 

top yawn...a little better, but still a bit xanny

gail is getting married!!!!!!!!! who cares? sorry, but having your bridal shower be a challenge on the show you judge, where your boss sits right next to you feels a little less than personal. you'd think gail's friends would have enough money to throw her a proper shower, rather than relying on bravo swag. and the table was ugly. but wait - i'm getting ahead of myself. (and yes, i'm sure they did, but it still seems a little icky...a little kimora lee simmons...)

the quickfire was my absolute favorite kind - a palate test. i wasn't crazy about the "name that tune" format, but i do love a good palate test. ok, was everyone ridiculously conservative or what? "i can name 4 ingredients in a curry??" say what? or the bouillabaisse...which - even if you (cheffies) don't know what it is - you can make some pretty educated guesses. since they were accepting "salt" i would hope that all the chefs could have tried for 6 or 7. anyway, hosea won. as long as the finn never wins again, i think everyone will be pleased. does anyone else, by the way get a bit of a boris & natasha vibe from the finn and the blondie i think is going to win? i think her name is jamie, but that's such a mild and unobjectionable name, i don't like it for her. tatty-bo seems rude enough, though. and damn it, inspired! half a glass of bubbles and i'm on fire already! so the finn has it bad for tatty-bo and keeps wanting to kiss her...and she clearly enjoys the attention, though i have no doubt that she's not remotely interested in the finn. she likes ladies...and he's...the finn. anyway, she's sucking more and more as the competition progresses, and i am looking ever harder for someone else to root for, because - ok. wait - again ahead of myself...

the wedding shower challenge was well-crafted. i have to give credit to the TC staff - the challenges are all very interesting - no more dumpster diving or mini-mart challenges, which is great. i wonder if leanne from season...1? 2? is partly responsible for that. she's super slender now, btw - she looks terrific - check out the bravo page if you're into that borderline-creepy-voyeuristic kind of thing. she's smoking hot! ok - so 4 teams - old/new/borrowed/blue. great theme - so sorry for the blues...not awesome. hard to be creative. the team was italian (who might be winning me over) drag-looking (sorry honey, but...) and leah, the hot one who is going to have one cranky boyfriend right about now. she does have superb skin for a cook, though. lucky girl. but blue food...no actual food is blue (blueberries, as tom points out, are really purple, as is the blue cornmeal the blue team uses to crust their chilean sea bass.) and really? chilean sea bass? i don't understand how whole foods justifies selling it - it's on the monterrey bay list of endangered and not to be eaten, but i'm sure the fine folks at whole paycheck have found a loophole somewhere. as the judges point out, it is pretty hard to screw up CSB...it's impervious to drying out. *anyway* their food was sad. it did not look actively bad, but it was very very sad. no texture, a pool of watery corn puree, some green chard and the blue bass. old people food was the verdict from he ladies, and i can't argue. that's how it looked. so they were in the bottom, but not in danger. the italian was clearly the leader of that team, and i thought he behaved well. he was going to defend himself, and then kind of realized he should just shut it, and he did, and i respected that.

the other middle team was team old, consisting of hosea, the dreaded finn, and a guy who looks like chase from House. jeffrey maybe? he's very pretty, but he unnerves me. whenever the contestants (never, ever "cheftestants"...ever) are speaking alone to the camera - like in "private diary time" or whatever, they list the chef's name, the city and restaurant they work at and their position. chase-alike works in miami at the unfortunately named "DiLido beach club". and yes. i admit it. every single time i see it, i think, what??? who would name a restaurant after a sex toy? is the extra "i" really fooling anyone? i didn't think so. so team new might be a total train wreck, and i'm not going to lie - i was pretty excited about it. hosea had immunity, the finn is the finn and chase-alike has to be running from about 1000 ghosts all the time. the team with Something To Prove...they chose heirloom tomatoes (an ok choice, if not totally fab). they all feel compelled to do something different - a tomato tasting, which seems un-cohesive to me, and i'm frankly a little surprised the judges didn't ding them for it. the finn makes a terrine (which is smart, though the judges thought it was bland), hosea does something i cannot remember with a purple cherokee (tomato) and chase-alike makes a savory tomato sorbet - much to the snarling disapproval of the finn who knows better than you do. about everything. the finn is king. long live the finn. except...giggle, suck it, finn! the judges loved the sorbet - everyone at the shower loved the sorbet. dana cowin (guest judge, gail's boss and editor of food and wine) wanted to do terrible things with the sorbet and chase-alike at his place of business. so there. take that, finn.

it's so hard to know where to go next, and i think i'll do winner first because - why not? so the winning team was team borrowed. i think this would have been the most fun theme, because it's so abstract. it's not fucking blue, for example. (food to hang yourself by? pint of ice cream? ugh. the poor blues.) ok - so team borrowed was the milf, tatty-bo and the indian girl who's always worried the judges will pigeonhole her as an indian cook. what do you think they "borrowed?" surprise! her culture! poor indy. they made what was by far the best looking, most cohesive dish. it was a carrot and vadouvan puree, a lamb chop and some raita. it became clear right away that indy was paranoid (so why make the raita and the lamb marinade only? maybe kick it up a little, gf?) milfy cooked the lamb - momma knows her meat and tatty-bo made the puree. she also seems to be taking credit for the entire dish. never mind that indy is...um...indian. vadouvan is one of tatty-bo's special trick ingredients (it's an spice blend.) at judges table she (TB) leaned in to milfy and said "i really want this" and then expressed shock and frustration when milfy was honored with the top award. "everyone thought it was going to be me." (or some such horseshit) get over yourself sweetie. was what milfy did hard? no...it's not hard to french and sear 7 racks, slap on someone else's marinade and then stand there with a thermometer. but milfy is *not* going to win. ever ever ever. she does well in team challenges - she's on the block every time it's all her. relax TB...and stop being so...finnish. it's not all about you.

oh the losers. ok. the emu, the hawaiian and the fattone combo i've just taken to calling band-aids. you know why. team new. a bush-league cluster from the opening bell. carla (the emu) may have something to offer. i'm rooting for you, girl, but i wish you'd spend a little less time being a hall monitor (she always seems to be around or commenting on other people's sex lives) and a little more time looking out for your own birdie interests, m'kay? so the hawaiian has Shit to Prove and maybe he's overcome some serious odds and i'm all for that. i was totally rooting for the short-order denny's cook on the last kitchen nightmares. but dude. wtf were you thinking? birdie is mute and band-aids is...i have no words...(finally) wtf? they decide to do sushi - which, not super new, right?? and then they're going to cook it - because that's new...and then people have to make their own and then there's a salad and then band-aids is making peach bbq sauce and sneaking mushrooms into birdie's salad and (choo-choo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) joder. i like the hawaiian. i shouldn't. he's not showing great judgement, but he knows it...ish...a little late, but he's honest and honorable on a show that plays that shit up because so few of them are. since when has "it's a competition" given people license to lie and cheat and steal? amazing. so hawaiian is a good guy. but he screwed up the rice. and didn't want to waste it (i'm sorry, is the recession worse than i think??) and no one else on the team said, "dude, we have another hour, let's make more!" and on and on. complete nightmare. and band-aids was sent packing - largely, i think because he thought after all was said and done that the dish was delicious. after the judges looked at him and said, "really??" he came back with, "mos def." unwise, band-aids. about as unwise as your orange jeans.

next week? i'll be prepping for a party on friday, so might not get to update before the new year. i'm sure both of my faithful readers will be on pins and needles until i return.

P.S...not so much

We watched "P.S., I love You" last night. It was terrible. Sophie was totally disgusted with me. I saw it in her face; she couldn't even look at me. Mostly, I think, because despite its schmaltzy awfulness, I was sobbing like a little girl. I don't know why I am so easily manipulated into an emotional response when my intellectual responses are usually so cynical. Apparently, however, the waterworks are just itching to be engaged. When we were in Honduras, the very end of "We Are Marshall" was on one morning in the restaurant. I didn't even *see* the movie, and the voice-over-summation guy at the end got to me. Such a cupcake...

Top Yawn is on tonight. I think I missed a week of recap, but it's so boring, I can't even remember who won and who got booted. It's too early to be interesting yet. The only thing I wanted to comment on is the strange editing. Am I the only one who noticed that the lead-in ads featured Padma saying that they had "an unusual problem" and Rocco (dude - fire your surgeon!!) said something about "all 3 being inedible" but during the actual show, neither of those scenes aired? And there's something weird about Leah and Hosea...don't you get the sense that they're showing footage that isn't current and then having people (like the lady from DC who looks so birdy I want to throw bread at her...emu or ostrich?) comment on it. It feels very disjointed.

I am going nuts looking for work. Lots of haunting of Craigslist, writing of cover letters, sending of resumes...little or no response. I have a big party next Friday, so that will keep me busy, and then we're going to the Metho for Christmas. I can't believe how quickly this month is going by. I feel like I am going to lose my mind or leap out of my skin. Living in a constant state of barely controlled panic is not my favorite.